Where to?

I'm in a rut.
I'm moving at the speed of backwards.
All my plans, are they plans at all?
Falter.
Father.
Why does he always pop up?
Who does he think he is?
Does he even care?
Maybe I shouldn't.
Meanwhile I'm here.
Still.
Where does the time go?
Where did my mind go?
Can't speak.
Can't dream.
Dreams are for the living.
Living is a luxury these days.